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Second Birthday

My darling girl,

It’s your second birthday today.

A milestone in so so many ways but also because it’s the only time when your age doubles overnight ( I got this from your Auntie N, she is clever)

I know you’ll have a wonderful day, and I know that you’ll have fun this lovely spring day and I look forward to our family breakfast in 2 hours when you, daddy and I share the first cake for the day and we will watch you open your presents. Taking you to a party that your daddy and I have planned for you. And yes, there will be another cake.

At 12.03am on April 10th 2011 when my waters broke. We had worried a lot (because it was 6 weeks to your due date) and really that was quite unnecessary.  Two somewhat clever people like your daddy and I worrying. But we did. One day you might know this yourself, as a parent you just seem to constantly worry. We got ourselves ready and went to the hospital, 4 days later you born via an emergency c-section. 5 weeks early, you were sooo small ( 4Ibs 11oz) , when I met you for the first time. I held you and didn’t want to let go. Every time I see you I feel the same way.

You are, as your name describes you, a beauty that can only be described by my stupid words. I will never be able to describe a small portion of exactly what you are. My darling H, you make dark clouds disappear and you make me the happiest woman that has ever set foot on earth. You are incredible, and I know you always will be. You have so much ahead of you, but I know that I will always do whatever I can to help you reach all heights, and never feel the lows. I can’t protect you from everything as you grow up, and God knows I’d love to, but even when I’m not with you I’ll always be holding out my hand, if ever you need it.

I wish you a very happy birthday. From the bottom of this heart of mine.

Yours, now and always proud and eternally loving,

Happy 2nd birthday my beautiful baby, I (we) love you so much:)

Mummy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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18 Months Today

The parenting book say “At this stage, children try out new things and explore the world around them more actively. They will often choose their own activities and may not always like being told what to do”. I am in love with 18 months.

 

H (18 months) & her friends:)

I want to freeze time right here and keep you this way. At least for a little while. You can do a lot of things independently, you can follow directions, and you are a pretty happy little girl, with a smile to die for. Every day is an adventure, you are turning into quite the little explorer. You are getting stronger and every day you are becoming more able to communicate your wishes with words. We have started having real conversations. You have been perfecting a number of skills

  • feeding yourself,
  • drinking from my cup,
  • dancing in rhythm ( you are better co-ordinated than your dad and I)
  • being able to identify different things i.e. body parts, family and places
  • Love rolling around in our new king size bed
  • Enjoying your settling days at the nursery and loving spending time with Nana Phyllis ( mummy’s going back to work in a weekL )
  • Blowing lovely kisses at me and started to reply, “Love you!” when I tell you I love you. Each time, my heart skips a beat.
  • I get giddy when I see your wheels begin to turn as you learn something new. And you are always so eager to learn new things, so long as it’s not me trying to force you to learn them.
  • You do things in your own way and in your own time, and I am learning to be okay with this.
  • But most of all, your amazing personality shines, you kindness and generosity of spirit. So our everyday interactions are undergoing huge changes.
  • Walks or runs everywhere. She can even walk up stairs if I’m holding one hand and she’s holding the railing.
  • Finally has enough hair to put up, I think we’ll have real pigtails before you are 2.

Eighteen month stats:

  • Height: 79 cm (33 inches) 50% of growth percentile. Weight: 10.6kgs, 50% of growth percentile. I think this is the highest weight percentile since you were born. Head Circumference: 48cm or 18.9″

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Gran you never met..:(

Since the day I found out I was carrying you I have been on cloud nine. Then came the 18th of September (2004), I was 4 weeks pregnant and you were just a tiny peanut. The one thing that makes me sad is that you will never get to meet my mum (your gran has been gone 5yrs today). I will never get the chance to say ‘I am dropping off my daughter at her Gran’s’ or ‘my daughter and her gran are off to visit my family’.

Life sends problems your way sometimes, but it’s how you deal with them that counts, and that’s what defines you. While I may be sad now, on  this day 5 yrs ago I was heart-broken. Whoever said time was a great healer? They lied. Nothing prepared me for her loss, even knowing she might die — she had been ill. I read somewhere during the dark days that “A mother, after all, is your entry into the world” thus waking up without her is like waking up in a world without light – this is my reality. I still weep in my dream, my mother is died. What I know for sure is My mother is dead, and I would like her back.’

I also read ( I read a lot, trying to make sense of my loss) somewhere that “a mother is a story with no beginning; that is what defines her”. What are you to do when the story ends in your twenties??? 😦

Well peanut, you saved and half mended my heart. You give me the strength to always overcome any difficult times and that’s just down to the fact that you’re here, brightening up my life.

Today it’s been 7 yrs, we gave our donation in her name. You were amazing, only 17 months but you seem to sense mummy is sad. Am amazed at your instincts and empathy, am thankful you are here. I never want to let you down. I look at you and feel an immense sense of warmth, like a glow inside me, and that leads me to the conclusion that whatever life slings at me I’ll be able to deal with it. Because I want you to be as proud of me as I am of you.

I still think about my mother every day ( worse on mothering day), on most days the grief is lighter, less oppressive. She crosses my mind like a beautiful bird flying past the edge of my eye: startling, luminous, lovely, gone.

To mumsy S, I miss you every day:(

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Happy 1st Birthday Baby

Today, our beautiful little daughter Hanna turns one!

Hanna's 1st BP01

Being a parent is one of the greatest privileges in the world. It’s a big day in my household hard to imagine that 12 months ago, right about this time I was sitting in a hospital room looking at my newly born daughter just imagining how much my life was about to change. The funny thing is, it has been nothing like I imagined it, it’s been much better and a little tougher. I have found parenting to be the toughest, most selfless job on the planet and it has also been a tremendous influence on what kind of person I have become.

Today is a milestone in my life as much as my daughter’s. I don’t really know how to express how I feel today, proud, relieved, optimistic, are a few words that come to mind. Regardless of what happens I will do my best and hopefully that will be enough to see her into adulthood.

I can’t believe it’s been a year already:)
Hanna1yrsHanna1yr

Six months today

Six months

Would someone please explain to me how this happened? Last time I checked, I was on my phone in the maternity ward waiting for you join us:)

Of course, when I woke up this morning I knew I wasn’t pregnant and tiptoed into your room to find your daddy in there. You are six months old today. I just can’t get enough of your cuddled and drolly kisses. No teeth yet, your friends have started suffering with the pain, it has yet to come for you:( You have a great hand-eye coordination and are trying desperately to crawl more bum shuffle. You are a happy, relaxed baby and I feel so blessed to have you in our life.

Of course, this also marks six months of being parents. I don’t think I could have a better partner in crime other than your Daddy. He has taken to fatherhood so naturally and has been an amazing calming influence on me when I realize I can’t do everything in my lists. How did I get so lucky to love and be loved by such a lovely man? You are truly a lucky girl:)

As for me well, of course I struggle most times with control issues. Sometimes I feel as if it’s an impossible to accomplish everything I need to do in my lists. I often have to remind myself of what is most important you and your Daddy then everything falls into place after that.

Happy 6 months birthday my love

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Arriving Home

Image

Hanna Kathleen Richmond (girl)
Born 14/04/2011, at 4:04 a.m.
4 lbs 11oz and  50 CM
The proud parents: Robert and Nimo Richmond

By the time we left the hospital 2 day later, you weighted 4lbs 4oz, just perfect. They say all the best things come in small packages and you were a very tiny package.

As I type, you are a sleep next to me and putting on weight beautifully, I can see you filling out your clothes and in the 10 weeks you has been in this world. You have almost outgrown your first babygro, albeit for a tiny baby and you don’t seem so delicate anymore. I was scared to touch you when you were  born, your legs were so skinny. I felt like I was going to break them when changing your bottom and hurt your back when picking you up. You are even developing those cute little baby chubby cheeks now, so I know I am doing an “ok” job at this wonderful role.

I love dressing you up in all the beautiful gifts from family and friends,  you are just fitting into Newborn sizes. I am sure it will not be long before the photos are popping up of you in lovely pink outfits. I have been nosing at some very cute boutiques to get you some special clothes, so watch this space.