“Ditch that ‘working mum guilt’ and wear your career girl badge with pride. 74 % of mums said they felt guilty about leaving their children while they worked, according to a poll of 600 mothers by Workingmums.co.uk”.
Yesterday I was one of the 26% but this afternoon when I got the email from Hanna’s nursery updating me that my daughter hadn’t eaten or drunk much all day and I had to come and pick her I was one of the 74%. 3 weeks since I started work and I feel like my world has been turned upside down. I feel like the worst mother in the world. My boss was kind and as I logged off i couldn’t not look anyone in the eye as I felt tears roll down my cheek.
Returning to work after months of maternity leave was a breeze the first two weeks. Hanna loved nursery and her lovely Nana P, I thought it was all meant to be. I went back to full time (4 days week) at the right time. She turned 18 months the week before I started after 6 months of working freelance around her I was going to part of a team with a proper lunch break and adult conversation. Today my world has come down with a bumped. The pain is unbearable, I feel soo guilty for leaving her at nursery and for leaving work at 3.15. I got to Nursery at 4pm she was flushed and had runny nose. She looked so fragile and run straight into my arms wimpering, broke my heart. I got her home, cleaned her, gave her water and cuddle her until she was ready to eat. I made her favourite foods and she only eat two bites then stopped. I just want her to eat, gave her a pot petti foli and that went down well. She eat it all and drunk the rest of her water. Then I heard this little voice asking for milk and smiling at me I was very relieved and happy. Mixed her 7oz of aptimul and got her ready for bed. Story time with milk and she is asleep as I type.
As I review the day with my DH, am thankful that my boss was so supportive, he made it so easy to deal with this stressful and hard day. Am torn, she is fast asleep and am praying that tomorrow we all feel better.
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