We have lost a dear cousin & friend this week. It was sudden, it was shocking. It’s turned my world on its head. All the things I thought were important suddenly seem so trivial.
I’ve made a promise to myself that whenever H wants a cuddle I will stop, or drop whatever I am doing and I will cuddle her, for a long time. Till she has to prize herself off me. I will not care if her nose is a tad dirty, I will sniff her hair and will marvel at her changing features (storing every change in my head) .
The recycling and rubbish is still sitting in my kitchen, I will not nag DH. Next week will be here soon enough and I will gently remind him to put rubbish out. I forgot to change our bedding this week, but I made it early to H’s fav session at the library for the 1st time in a long time. She was so happy she could pick where to sit without crashing into 3 toddlers.
Read 3 stories to H without skipping a page and she went to bed without complaining or crying. I had a bath with the dusty, luxurious bubbles that DH bought me last Christmas. It lives on the shelf next to the one he bought me two years before. I’m going to use it again every night this month. I might even use my very expensive skin serum afterwards. What am I saving it for?
I must learn from this tragic loss. I must keep seeing the hole it has left, and use it as a reminder of what is important. All I can do is honour him by looking after myself and my family a little bit better.
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